Beste advertentie ooit: Nissan Skyline! 1900 GTSt

Vaak kom je van die advertenties tegen die geschreven zijn door oenen. Zo zijn er bijvoorbeeld die niet ééns het merk juist schrijven (Handa ipv Honda). Meestal zien we BMW's en Audi's passeren die als "full option" omschreven worden en in werkelijk gaat het dan enkel om lederen interieur en misschien Xenon's. "Full full option" bestaat ook. Dan zit er zelfs gps in! Gelukkig zijn er nog kerels die écht tijd nemen om hun wagen tot in het diepste detail te beschrijven. Zoals de man in dit artikel. Het woord EPIC is in dit geval zeer toepasselijk. Neem even je tijd hiervoor!

 

Hier kan je de advertentie op Craigslist zelf lezen. Hieronder een copy/paste om het je makkelijk te maken!

 

"This isn't your normal skyline.

This motherfcker is the skyline God would drive if he wasn't busy doing God sh*t like making tsunamis and crap. Its set up to go fast, and go fast sideways. Who doesn't like to get sideway?! Terrorists, thats who. Are you a terrorist? No? Then you need this car.

Handling? This car handles like a junior executive CEO. Go around corners like the devil himself is chasing you, and not give a fck.

Whats that? You like drifting? Well I've got some great god d@mn news for you. This car was a drift project of mine, and the last owner was planning on making it a drift machine too.

Interior is for pussies so we got rid of it. Manly as fck. It literally oozes testosterone. So much so that its puddling up in the back. Seats? this cockscker has got two. One for you, and one for the hot @ss broad thats gunna be all upons your dick after you buy this car. You're a girl? Sht works both ways. One seat for you, and one seat for that hot @ss dude you've been trying to hook up with for weeks. Deal with it,sh*ts getting serious.

Stereos and AC are for hippies. Fortunately this car has neither. Oh look at me, I like listen to Simon and Garfunkel and think about puppies. Fck that. The only noises you're gunna be hearing is the ultra manly engine noises coming from this sweet turbocharged, intercooled, 24 valve inline 6. Shts getting real, real f*cking fast.

This car has got a bright orange ebrake handle (btches love orange) with a drift button for those super ultra megahellatastic bar room brawler ebrake lockers. Fck. Yes.

Now, I'll be honest. The wheels are a little lackluster, although everyones gunna be so focused on your super gangster drifting that nobody is going to give a fck about your shtty stock 16s. Don't worry, I've got you fcking covered. Its like we're in Vietnam and you just got ambushed by Charlie. Don't worry, friend, I've got your fcking back and I blow charlie to kingdom fcking come. For an extra $450 I can throw in some added p*ssy magnets for wheels, just don't come crawling back to me complaining that you're getting TOO much vajayjay. Bright fcking green 18s. Greens not your thing? Super legit silver 18s. Done like dinner.

This car has got 1.5 metric fck tons of awesome parts. Bride, Greddy, Brembo, the list doesn't fcking END. It just keeps going and going, like the energizer bunny on speed.

You like going fast? Ever tried to outrun 24 police cars and 3 helicopters? You need this car. It will go so fcking fast that you may very well go back in time. It happened to me once. Just once, but it was fcking rad. Its like someone took a rocket and opened its mouth and poured steroids down its throat and and threatened to kill its family if it wasn't the fastest motherfcker you've ever driven.

I get it. You're busy, I'm busy, lets not waste time. If you're interested send me a message and I'll get back to you ASAP. You send me a message, I send you one right back. Thats how this works."

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Reacties (6)

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Yvesw 11:14
afbeelding van Yvesw

Sommige mensen hebben toch teveel "LOL" sites bezocht waardoor ze niet meer een deftige tekst kunnen schrijven.
Maar kom, in zijn genre is het best wel Epic! Cuz bitches love epic! :p

Techno Patat 12:13
afbeelding van Techno Patat

Haha, dit kan toch niet echt zijn? En anders moet het wel van een gigantische ganstah zijn :p!

Maar waar zijn de spec's? Ik wil 0-100 tijden weten, 1/4m tijden? topsnelheid? Engine modificatie's? Want 5.000 vind ik eigenlijk wel een koopje :p!

Yannick Degroeve 12:35
afbeelding van Yannick Degroeve

haha "highway gangbang" :-p

Techno Patat 12:44
afbeelding van Techno Patat

Hahaha die van Sam zijn toch wel win's!! Highway gangbang, dat is nog eens iets om te vertellen aan de bar :D!

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